Maundy Thursday is just a very sad evening. All of Jesus’ s support is, in the end, worth nothing. First, his friends demonstrate how completely they misunderstand him by arguing about having their feet washed, then falling asleep when he most needs them to support and pray with him, finally promising to brandish weapons to support him. Then his intelligence can’t save him from the predjudice and eventually the lies that are brought to bear against him in the Sanhedrin, and then his body is scourged and he is mocked and tormented. And he must know that the death he prayed to avoid was now inevitable.
As you know I like some of the approaches to prayer of Ignatius Loyola and one approach is to put yourself into situations from the gospels in your imagination. It makes them more alive to you and the place that you find yourself choosing in a story can reveal a lot about your relationship with Jesus and with yourself.
I don’t particularly have anything to share other than my sadness about these events and a suggestion that you might like to try the approach mentioned above as a form of meditation on a bewildering night.