Welcome to Lent. I have had a lot of people looking for Lent jokes come to my blog over the last fortnight looking for Lenten jokes. The only new ones I could find specific to Lent so that I could add a page “Lent 3” for this year’s Lent were about baptising a lamb chop and not having sex. I didn’t find them that funny so I didn’t include them (although looking at the first one described in that way I find the idea quite amusing….) Anyway, here are some funnies that don’t strictly relate to Lent, but that I found on my travels.
A Buddhist monk, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.
The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”
A poster read: “God is dead” – Nietzche. The graffiti underneath read: “Nietzche is dead” – God.
The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for awhile. Well, the chauffeur didn’t have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel. The Pope proceeds onto HWY 95, and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do. He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the blue lights of the State Police in his mirror. He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. The trooper, seeing who it was, says, “Just a moment please, I need to call in.” The trooper calls in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief that he’s got a REALLY important person pulled over, and asks how he should handle it. “It’s not Ted Kennedy again is it?” replies the chief. “No Sir!” replied the trooper, “This guy’s more important.” “Is it the Governor?” replied the chief. “No! Even more important!” replies the trooper. “Is it the PRESIDENT??? replied the chief. “No! Even more important!” replies the trooper. “Well WHO is it?” screams the chief. “I don’t know Sir.” replies the trooper, “but he’s got the Pope as his chauffeur.”
And finally, just so you know, I am giving up alcohol for Lent (Why?! and that tells you all you need to know) and I am also doing Love Life Live Lent via Facebook.